The mistake that feels logical… but keeps you stuck
If you’re in perimenopause or menopause and feeling frustrated by changes in your body — weight shifting, energy dropping, sleep getting worse, brain fog creeping in — you might be telling yourself:
“I just need to cut my calories and work out more.”
Sound familiar? Have you asked yourself where that thought even came from?
That thought didn’t come from you.
It came from a lifetime of messages telling women that being thinner is the price of feeling confident, successful, and attractive — and that the way to get there is always the same: eat less, move more, try harder.
We’ve been surrounded by this message for decades. Diet culture taught us that restriction equals discipline. Fitness culture taught us that soreness equals success. And now, as our bodies change in perimenopause and menopause — sometimes without us changing a single habit — that messaging gets turned up even louder.
Suddenly, every article, ad, and “expert recommendation” aimed at menopausal women seems to say the same thing: tighten the reins, cut more calories, work harder in the gym, and get your body back under control.
So when your jeans feel tighter, your energy drops, or the scale shifts, it makes sense that your inner dialogue goes straight to:
“I must be eating too much.”
“I need to be more disciplined.”
“If I just exercised more, this wouldn’t be happening.”
This isn’t a personal failure. It’s conditioning.
The problem is that this advice — eating less and exercising more — is often exactly the wrong thing for a perimenopausal or menopausal body. Instead of helping, it can leave you more tired, more frustrated, sleeping poorly, and feeling disconnected from a body you used to trust.
I want to show you why this common advice backfires, what’s actually happening in your body during this transition, and what works better instead — so you can stop fighting yourself and start supporting your body in a way that leads to real, sustainable change.
You’re not doing anything wrong.
You’re not broken. And you don’t need more willpower.
You need a different strategy.
Let’s talk about what to do differently — and why it matters.
Why eating less and exercising more works against you in menopause
When women come to me frustrated that their bodies aren’t responding anymore, I don’t see a lack of discipline. I see physiology doing exactly what it’s designed to do.
Here’s how this mistake keeps you stuck.
1. Under-eating drains your energy and wrecks your sleep
When you don’t eat enough — especially when meals are skipped or protein is too low — your body goes into conservation mode.
Blood sugar becomes unstable. Cortisol (your main stress hormone) rises to keep you functioning. That can look like:
- Fatigue that no amount of coffee fixes
- Feeling “wired but tired” at night
- Waking up between 2–4 a.m.
- Irritability, anxiety, or feeling emotionally fragile
Instead of feeling leaner or more energized, you feel exhausted and defeated. And when you’re tired and not sleeping well, everything feels harder — including the very habits you’re trying to stick to.
2. Under-eating + over-exercising disrupts hormones and slows metabolism
This is one of the most important — and most misunderstood — pieces.
When your body doesn’t get enough fuel and is asked to perform intense exercise, your adrenals (stress glands) pump out excess cortisol increasing your overall stress load.
Increased stress load impacts:
- Cortisol: stays elevated, increasing fat storage (especially around the midsection)
- Thyroid function: free t3 decreases, slowing metabolism
- Sex hormones: already changing in menopause, become even harder to regulate
Over time, this combination can lead to loss of lean muscle, increased fat storage, and even bone loss — raising the risk of osteoporosis.
Ironically, the very strategy women use to “speed things up” often does the opposite.
3. Tying self-worth to the scale keeps you disconnected from real progress
The scale doesn’t tell you what’s actually happening in your body.
Muscle is dense. Hormones affect fluid balance. Inflammation shifts weight daily. So when women are doing strength training, eating better, and still see the scale stay the same — or even go up — they feel like they’ve failed.
I see this all the time. Women who are objectively getting stronger, sleeping better, and losing inches feel defeated because the number doesn’t change.
That emotional roller coaster erodes confidence and makes it harder to trust your body and the process.
I know this holds women back because I understand hormone physiology, I pay attention to evidence-based research, and I’ve spent 16 years in clinical practice watching the same pattern repeat itself.
The problem isn’t you.
It’s the approach.
So let’s talk about what actually works.
What to do instead: a menopause-supportive approach
This isn’t about another diet or rigid plan. It’s about working with your changing physiology instead of fighting it.
Here’s where to start.
1. Eat enough — consistently — with protein at every meal
This is foundational, and it often feels scary at first.
Eating enough doesn’t mean overeating. It means regular meals that support stable blood sugar and hormone balance.
- Eat breakfast. Skipping it increases cortisol, slows your metabolism and sets the tone for energy crashes later.
- Aim for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
- Include protein at every meal to support muscle, metabolism, and satiety.
I’ve seen countless women experience more energy, better sleep, less irritability, and even lose inches simply by eating consistently and adequately — without cutting calories.
2. Fuel your workouts instead of training fasted
Fasted workouts are often marketed as a fat-loss tool, but in perimenopause and menopause they frequently backfire.
Training fasted increases cortisol, reduces workout performance, and makes it harder to build lean muscle — which is critical for metabolism and bone health.
When you fuel your workouts:
- You lift heavier
- You recover better
- You build muscle more effectively (which translates to a faster metabolism)
That’s how body composition changes in a sustainable way.
3. Build in rest days and recovery
Exercise is a form of stress — even when it’s healthy stress.
If you’re going hard every day without recovery, your body doesn’t get the signal to adapt. Instead, it stays in survival mode.
Rest days:
- Lower cumulative stress
- Support hormone balance
- Improve strength gains and energy
More isn’t better. Better is better.
4. Trust your body’s feedback
If something isn’t working — persistent fatigue, poor sleep, stalled progress — there’s a reason.
Your body is communicating. Listening and adjusting is not failure; it’s wisdom.
This is where personalization matters most.
How I help women implement this — without overwhelm
Knowing what to do is one thing. Knowing how to apply it to your body is another.
Inside my work with peri and postmenopausal individuals, we start by reviewing current routines — nutrition, exercise, sleep, stress — and make gentle adjustments to what needs more support for hormones, cortisol, thyroid, and recovery.
From there, we go deeper with functional lab testing to identify:
- Hormone patterns
- Stress response
- Thyroid function
- Food sensitivities
- Epigenetic influences
This allows us to create a personalized plan based on your physiology and your goals — not a one-size-fits-all template.
The result? Women feel calmer in their bodies, clearer in their decisions, and more confident that what they’re doing actually makes sense.
“I’ve tried every diet — why would this work?”
This is one of the most common questions I hear, and it makes complete sense.
Here’s the difference: this isn’t a diet.
There’s no rigid plan, no food rules, and no expectation that your body should respond the same way it did at 30.
This approach is about understanding how your physiology is changing in perimenopause and menopause — and building nutrition, movement, and routines that support that reality.
When you work with your body instead of forcing it, things start to feel easier. And progress becomes something you can actually sustain.
A new way forward
You don’t need to be smaller to be healthy, worthy, or attractive.
You don’t need to starve or punish your body to feel good in it.
When you eat enough, fuel your workouts, respect recovery, and use the right metrics — not just the scale — you can feel strong, energized, clear-headed, and confident again.
You can feel in control of your menopause experience and continue pursuing the life you want — with stability, resilience, and trust in your body.
Your next step
If you’re ready for real answers, I invite you to apply for the Wild Pursuits program — the most comprehensive analysis of what your body needs during perimenopause and menopause.
If that feels like too much right now, you can schedule a visit and we’ll take it one step at a time.
Either way, you don’t have to figure this out alone — and you don’t have to keep doing things that make you feel worse.